- They’d realize I sing to myself a lot. Yesterday I spent an hour dancing round my room pretending to be a gangster. I put my hood up and everything. 

- I keep a synth inside my wardrobe because I have no clothes. 

- Right now I’m swaying to 80’s music and singing ‘don’t you forget about me’ really passionately. 

- I sit in the very corners of my room just to prove I can fit there. 

- They would discover that the Royal Exchange Theatre sends me letters addressed to ‘Egan’ because they honestly think that’s my name. 

- Khristine restricts me from wearing my perfume because she knows I’d pour the entire bottle on my head if I could. 

- I usually have something illicit on display. The first time my mum came here she found a bottle of vodka and the second time she found an empty carton of cigarettes (that one wasn’t actually mine, I just literally store other people’s crap in my room). 

- I lose mugs everywhere. There’s one underneath my bookshelf, one on my washing machine and one on my desk right now.